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“ONLY IF” - THE KILLER OF HAPPINESS

Maxim Atanassov • Jan 21, 2024

By Maxim Atanassov 


In a world obsessed with perfection and ideal circumstances, we've cultivated a dangerous mantra: "Only if". It's the silent killer of progress, the unseen thief of joy. This notion that one can only act or achieve under perfect conditions is not just flawed; it's a blockade against the very essence of happiness and success. Let's dissect this fallacy and understand why imperfection, not perfection, is the real catalyst for growth. 


Personal Anecdote 

From the gritty soil of my grandparents' farm to the frostbitten streets of Canada, my journey is a testament to the relentless pursuit of self-made success. Picture a working-class kid, not lounging in the bliss of childhood summers but knee-deep in the responsibilities of farm life since the age of five. This wasn't hardship; it was my first classroom in the school of resilience. 


Fast forward to 1997: I land in Canada armed with just enough cash to cover a year's university tuition and a meagre $2,500 to fend for myself - food, shelter, the works. The poverty line? That was a luxury compared to where I stood. But here's the kicker: in Bulgaria, my birthplace, there's this folklore about Неволята (Distress). It's not just a tale; it's a blueprint for survival. The crux? When disaster strikes, don't wait for a savior. You are the architect of your fate. 


This isn't just a story about overcoming odds; it's a narrative about internal revolution. That folk tale? It didn't just leave an impression; it ignited a wildfire in me. A growth mindset, they call it. I call it the fuel that has powered my every achievement. And guess what? I'm not just surviving; I'm thriving. And I'm far from done. 


Top of Form 

The Mirage of Perfection 

The pursuit of perfection is akin to chasing a mirage. It's an unattainable ideal that shifts further away the closer we think we get. Research in psychology suggests that perfectionism can lead to significant mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts (Hewitt & Flett, 1991). So why do we keep chasing it? The answer lies in our misconceived belief that perfection is synonymous with success. But history and research disagree. Thomas Edison famously said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." His failures weren't setbacks; they were stepping stones to success.

"Only If" - The Mental Block 

"Only if I had more money, time, resources..." – Sound familiar? This mindset is a mental trap. It's an excuse dressed as logic. By fixating on what we lack, we overlook our most potent weapon: the ability to start with what we have. Studies have shown that resourcefulness and resilience are far greater predictors of success than the abundance of resources (Pulford et al., 2018). The "only if" mentality is a self-imposed limitation, a barrier to the creativity and grit needed to overcome challenges.

Speed Over Perfection 

In the business world, speed is often more critical than perfection. Amazon's Jeff Bezos advocates for a "Day 1" mentality, emphasizing agility, speed, and customer obsession over getting everything right the first time. This approach is echoed in the Lean Startup methodology, where the focus is on rapid iterations rather than perfect launches (Ries, 2011). Speed allows for quick feedback, adaptation, and real-world learning, which are crucial for growth and innovation.

Embracing Imperfection 

The Japanese art of Kintsugi teaches us the beauty of embracing flaws. When a piece of pottery breaks, it's repaired with gold, highlighting the imperfection instead of hiding it. This philosophy applies to our lives and endeavors. Embracing imperfection isn't about settling for mediocrity; it's about recognizing the beauty and potential in the flawed, the incomplete, and the transient. It's about moving forward despite the imperfections. 

The Happiness Equation 

Happiness, contrary to popular belief, isn't the product of achieving perfection. It's the result of progress, of moving forward toward our goals, irrespective of the conditions. Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky explains in her book "The How of Happiness" that a significant portion of our happiness is determined by our actions and mindset (Lyubomirsky, 2007). Thus, the relentless pursuit of perfection can be a major deterrent to happiness. 

Conclusion 

The "Only if" mentality is a self-imposed prison. The key to breaking free lies in embracing imperfection and understanding that progress, not perfection, is the pathway to success and happiness. Let us not be blinded by the illusion of perfection. Instead, let's celebrate the beauty of the flawed, the power of resilience, and the joy of continuous progress. After all, it's the journey, not the destination, that truly matters. 


References 


  1. Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1991). Perfectionism in the self and social contexts: Conceptualization, assessment, and association with psychopathology. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 
  2. Pulford, B. D., Woodward, A., Kousha, M., & Pohl, S. (2018). Resourcefulness and resilience: A comparative analysis of success and failure outcomes in project management and improvisation tasks. Project Management Journal. 
  3. Ries, E. (2011). The Lean Startup. Crown Business. 
  4. Lyubomirsky, S. (2007). The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want. Penguin Books. 


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Maxim Atanassov, CPA-CA

Serial entrepreneur, tech founder, investor with a passion to support founders who are hell-bent on defining the future!

I love business. I love building companies. I co-founded my first company in my 3rd year of university. I have failed and I have succeeded. And it is that collection of lived experiences that helps me navigate the scale up journey.


I have found 6 companies to date that are scaling rapidly. I also run a Venture Studio, a Business Transformation Consultancy and a Family Office.

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